Where the Hell Have I Been?
By Adam Greene
Each and every day my website stares at me like an attention-starved puppy, which would be sad if not for my intense and fiery hatred of puppies and all things puppy related.
I mean, no one even wants to get me started on motherfucking puppies.
I’ve not updated the site because I’ve landed a job as the sports and video game columnist for a magazine in Florida called 9ine. The preview issue is out now, with a full launch scheduled for mid February. If you live in Southern Florida, be on the look-out for it. And it’s free, so none of you have an excuse. My column in it proves, I think, once and for all that you can’t discuss Keyshawn Johnson’s football career without using the words, "dolphin vagina."
These are exciting times for me, but it may shock some of you to learn that I generally don’t just sit down and the deep insights on WB reality shows, self-righteous douchebags and mollusk-flavored beverages flow from my fingers like... well... whatever could conceivably flow from a finger.
There’s a lot more hair pulling, teeth gnashing and clothes rending involved in the creative process than the layperson might realize. Writing isn’t so much "fun" as a compulsion that has to be attended to in order to stay at a manageable level of sanity. The people that talk about how much they enjoy writing... well, they all suck.
I run The First Man on blogger software because it makes updating the site easier and just looks better than the old Frontpage version. I’m pretty proud that up to this point I haven’t actually used it to "blog", as the lack of unicorn themed poetry and A-Team fanfiction can attest. With no update since August, site traffic understandably waned for a while, but something funny happened in December. Everyone came back... or were replaced with all new people. I have no idea. Hits are as high as they ever were.
Without the free time to form 2,000 word epistles on the new Bachelor or poorly chosen western headwear, the question becomes “what am I going to do on the site?”
Blog, I guess.
Dammit.
I promise no unicorn poetry, at least. No matter how majestically beautiful they are.
Each and every day my website stares at me like an attention-starved puppy, which would be sad if not for my intense and fiery hatred of puppies and all things puppy related.
I mean, no one even wants to get me started on motherfucking puppies.
I’ve not updated the site because I’ve landed a job as the sports and video game columnist for a magazine in Florida called 9ine. The preview issue is out now, with a full launch scheduled for mid February. If you live in Southern Florida, be on the look-out for it. And it’s free, so none of you have an excuse. My column in it proves, I think, once and for all that you can’t discuss Keyshawn Johnson’s football career without using the words, "dolphin vagina."
These are exciting times for me, but it may shock some of you to learn that I generally don’t just sit down and the deep insights on WB reality shows, self-righteous douchebags and mollusk-flavored beverages flow from my fingers like... well... whatever could conceivably flow from a finger.
There’s a lot more hair pulling, teeth gnashing and clothes rending involved in the creative process than the layperson might realize. Writing isn’t so much "fun" as a compulsion that has to be attended to in order to stay at a manageable level of sanity. The people that talk about how much they enjoy writing... well, they all suck.
I run The First Man on blogger software because it makes updating the site easier and just looks better than the old Frontpage version. I’m pretty proud that up to this point I haven’t actually used it to "blog", as the lack of unicorn themed poetry and A-Team fanfiction can attest. With no update since August, site traffic understandably waned for a while, but something funny happened in December. Everyone came back... or were replaced with all new people. I have no idea. Hits are as high as they ever were.
Without the free time to form 2,000 word epistles on the new Bachelor or poorly chosen western headwear, the question becomes “what am I going to do on the site?”
Blog, I guess.
Dammit.
I promise no unicorn poetry, at least. No matter how majestically beautiful they are.
posted by Adam Greene at
11:31 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home